We all have a list of things we want to do before we die. Some big goals (visiting every continent) and some small goals (learning to ride a bike) make up a list that ensures we’ve led a life well lived. Well here’s one more that I think every woman should have on her bucket list: every woman should take a trip by herself. It’s as much about learning more about who you are as it is having a new adventure.
Do one thing every day that scares you
It’s not just a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, it’s a mantra. I’ve spent the last two years really embracing things that take me out of my comfort zone. It can be scary, really scary to take a big step into something you’ve never done before. But if you don’t take that step, you’ll never know what you’re really made of.
That’s the situation I was facing a few weeks ago. I had the great opportunity to travel to NYC – my favorite city in the world. But timing was weird and there was no one who would be free to travel with me. Will was in school. My friends were all busy with work. My mom was home taking care of my dad. So for the first time in my adult life, I was looking at going it alone.
More than a bit scary
Alright, I’ll only admit this here. But yes, I was just a bit scared. I consider myself a fairly independent woman and an introvert on top of that. So I’m not only comfortable being alone, I need my own alone time to unwind. But this was a little different. Everything from lifting my luggage into the overhead bin to making sure I could navigate the confusing streets and subways in New York made me nervous. Could I do it by myself? What if I get lost? A million other questions and random far-fetched scenarios ran through my mind at 90 mph.
Freedom!
But after the initial moment of panic, I began to lean into the idea. Now I’ve been to NYC many times. I know all of my favorite places, even if I’ve never navigated there myself. Only this time, I have the unique opportunity to ONLY go to the places I like. This was when the lightbulb went off and I got really excited about the possibilities. I planned all the shopping to my favorite stores. Tickets to whatever show I wanted to see? You bet. Want to spend a whole evening at the Downton Abbey Exhibit? You know I did. And best of all, no complaints or whining about having to go along.
You are your own best date
A second major plus to traveling alone is getting to choose what to eat for every meal. The whole “women can never pick where to eat” thing is a lie. A total lie. We know where we want to eat. And when you travel alone, you have the freedom to pick whatever you’re craving – even if it’s Italian for the third meal in the row. No one is going to complain. You don’t have to check the menu to see if there’s something for the kids. I can’t even begin to describe the absolute treat it is to not worry if everyone else will like the restaurant and just go wherever you please.
I know that eating alone can be a little scary. So here’s a tip for first-time solo diners. Sit at the bar. My first night in, I was starving and the restaurant was totally packed. Luckily, the bonus of being alone is you only need one seat. And finding one at the bar isn’t usually too hard. I sat at a packed bar next to someone else who was dining alone. Now an outgoing extrovert would have struck up a conversation and talked about food and the city. But that sure isn’t me. I still had a great time sitting there next to my silent companion. I talked to the bartender some. But mostly I watched and listened. When you’re at the bar, you’re never really alone. And there’s a lot to watch: the other patrons, the bartender, the staff. It’s one of the busiest spots in the place. I didn’t even feel the need to constantly reach for my phone. Turns out, I’m really great at taking myself out on a date.
Like a Boss
The final part of my trip that did have me more than a bit worried was getting around the city. Although, let’s face it, with cabs and Lyft, who needs to really know directions. But I really like the subway and was determined to figure it out for myself. The underground tunnels can be so intimidating and everyone is always in a hurry to go somewhere. But I refuse to be defeated by public transportation! I carefully checked my google maps, remembered my training (for uptown vs. downtown) and braved my first trip. And I am happy to report that I totally killed the subway. I got on the right line, going in the right direction every time. I was such a pro, by the end I was the one giving directions. I took a personal sense of pride and accomplishment in mastering the subway. And the best part is now I know that when another opportunity comes around, I am ready and more than able.
I ❤ NY
Hopefully, by now you are thinking about taking a trip on your own sometime in the future. And now I’m going to tell you that NYC is hands down the best place to go it alone. For one, there are so many people, you’re never really alone. People are always out walking somewhere. I’ve never felt unsafe traveling by myself even on the subways or walking on the streets. It’s extremely busy all of the time. And people really aren’t that mean or rude. I’m not sure where that rumor originates, but I’ve met so many helpful people there, maybe a little impatient, but no one who has ever been just downright mean.
There’s also a million things to do. I could write a whole separate blog on just shopping, eating and sightseeing. I’ve been so many times and yet there are still things that I haven’t done. This trip I made time to see a Broadway show (Book of Mormon). I stayed in SOHO so I could be close to my favorite shopping. I had planned out so many activities that I wanted to do, I ran out of time. But that’s what makes the city great, I still have a list of things to do when I go back.
A Retrospective
When I planned this trip, I never thought I would love it as much as I did. I didn’t know that I would have an entirely new blog to share about my experience. I learned a lot about myself on this trip. Yes, I can lift my own luggage into the overhead bin – thank you, Pure Barre. But I also learned that while traveling by yourself can be scary, it can also be marvelous. Of course, I can’t wait to go back to NYC. But I also think a nice, relaxing trip to the beach with 5 or 6 books in tow would be an amazing way to unwind and decompress.
Love,
Sara
Yes! Yes! Yes! Totally agree!
C