Everyone is feeling the struggle at this time, but the hardest hit in our family has been Emma, my 9-year-old daughter. I’ve lost my job because of Covid-19, but I’m lucky I’ve been able to give Emma more attention during this quarantine. Luckily her Dad has been able to work from home this whole time. Emma’s emotions have been a roller coaster the last two months, and I’m sure I’m not the only Mom going through this. So I thought it would be helpful to share the emotions we might all be going through.
Confusion
This has got to be such a confusing time for adults, but just imagine being a kid. All of a sudden being ripped away from school, teachers, friends, sports, activities and their everyday life. They are trying to figure out how a virus can do all that. Emma knows that in order to stay safe, we need to stay home. Dad and I both try to be open with Emma and answer any questions she has.
Anger/Frustration
During this time, Emma has had a shorter temper, more anger and frustration issues. Everything seems wrong to her and out of place. She can’t focus. She feels helpless. She doesn’t know what to do. This especially happens more while trying to do her schooling from home. Everything is not the same, and she hates it. Any little thing can make her snap. To help her, we’ve had her take small breaks to calm down when she gets upset. She usually sits on the floor, curls up in a blanket and takes deep breaths. Sometimes she’ll burst out crying and I just let her sit in my lap and hold her. I’m hoping with summer, Emma will have less frustration and be able to just have fun.
Anxiety
Emma is an over-thinker and it gives her a lot of anxiety sometimes. During this time, her anxiety has played a bigger role. It’s been triggering a lot of these emotions in her. Just online schooling alone has disrupted her comfort level. To help ease her anxiety, I started to write out a daily routine checklist for the first month starting with her waking up and including all her school work. She would check things off as she completes them. This helped her get into a routine until she got used to it. After the first month, she didn’t need the checklist anymore and her teachers were putting their assignments in google classroom. This made it easier for her to turn in assignments and check them off. Emma was able to see everything she had to do ahead. Her anxiety level eased some but never went away.
Sadness
This has definitely been the most I have seen my daughter cry. Almost every day something gets to her. Whether she goes from frustration to sadness or she just starts missing everyone. She cries thinking of her family, friends and teachers she only gets to zoom with. She’s even been thinking more about her grandmother, dog and cat who have all passed away. She’s been hugging picture books more and her stuffed animals for comfort. She thinks about all the stuff she’s missing such as being able to play soccer with her team, going to swimming lessons, doing her first drama play and spending every day with friends. All we can do is be there for her, comfort her and try to do more family activities.
Fear
There are times where we’re not sure when things will get back to normal or if it ever will. Emma knows the virus has been spreading and by staying home and wearing our masks, it should help it spread less. But I know she’s scared and just hasn’t really talked about it. She’s been having more issues falling asleep some days. We just try to make sure she feels safe and remind her that things will get better. Even our dog, Sahara, has been comforting her especially at nights during our bedtime reading.
Loneliness
Being at home all the time with no one but your parents and your dog can get pretty lonely especially when you don’t get to see anyone else. Thank goodness for electronics to help people connect, especially kids. Emma has been able to text and video chat a lot of her friends. It’s been keeping her connected with her friends and it helps them all keep smiles on their faces. I also got Emma to start doing pen pals with friends for writing assignments and she enjoys getting letters back from them. She will continue to connect with family and friends through the mail during the summer.
Love
The last two months have definitely demonstrated a lot of love in everyone around us. Even with everything going on, Emma knows she’s loved by her family, friends and teachers. She’s gotten letters, cards, sweet messages, pictures and lots of other expressions of love. I think no matter how her day goes, she always knows she is loved. And that’s a great thing to fall back on every day.
Happiness
Emma finds happiness through interaction with her family and friends. She gets super-excited when she knows she’s going to zoom, chat or game with them. Dad and I have been doing more family games with Emma too. We also do arts and crafts and other fun activities with her. Emma’s favorite thing is to take a nice long bubble bath to relax before bedtime. What can be better than to end your day with a lavender bubble bath? We should all give it a try.
It’s been such a crazy few months with ups and downs, twists and turns. But no matter what emotions Emma goes through, I also know it’s been full of laughter, kindness, joy, and pride. It’s as hard for kids as it is for adults, but remember we’ve gone through more life experiences than they have. They still have their innocence even in complicated situations and massive changes. It can be hard, but try to have as much patience as you can and let them know you’re there for them. Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything – a comforting, loving hug is all that’s needed for them and for you.
Love,
Jeannie
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